As someone who values privacy, I have seriously been considering deleting Facebook, deactivating my account and turning to some other messenger only services or even solely text message. However, deleting Facebook would mean the added difficulty of inviting me or even forgetting to invite me to any event. These days, remembering who to invite entails scrolling through one’s Facebook friends list. Missing out on events is a little too high a price. So, I’ve made a compromise. I deleted the Facebook app from my phone almost a week ago.
Messenger
I use messenger productively. I keep up to date with friends and who I would not otherwise (easily) be able to keep in contact and make plans with. Sure, I could tell those friends I do communicate with over messenger to download a new app. I’m the only person I know who uses only one social media platform and I doubt they want to keep track of yet another app.
Ignorance is bliss
As someone who loves reading and learning I would normally disagree with “ignorance is bliss”. In this case, I whole heartedly agree. Ignorance of unhelpful, psychologically detrimental information is bliss. If you do not know there is an event happening near you where 4 of your friends are going, but you were not invited to, you cannot feel left out. If you don’t know a Thai soccer team was trapped in a cave then you can’t feel sorry for them. “You would also not be aware of the rescue mission that relieved so many on lookers. There are no highs with no lows”. Sorry, but not even Viktor Frankl, an Auschwitz survivor, believes suffering is necessary to find meaning in life.
“To suffer unnecessarily is masochistic rather than heroic” – Viktor Frankl
Let’s say Facebook fed (yes, it’s called a feed for a reason) you only “good” news stories and cute husky videos*. “Good” in inverted commas because it is fundamentally subjective. However, for now, let’s say good is “generally causes a smile”. Is that even a worthwhile reason to keep Facebook on your phone? Why do you always need to smile? I’m not suggesting that it’s better to be sad. I am suggesting it’s better to be doing something meaningful than smiling vacuously.
* Facebook certainly won’t only supply you with good news stories. The posts that receive the most user engagement are those that stir outrage. People’s Facebook activity would seem to suggest that they love being outraged. So, Facebook’s algorithms listen and create a cycle of outrage. The algorithms are optimised for engagement, not your well-being. Majority of the time the categories of “good for well-being” and “good for engagement” don’t overlap at all. Here’s a New York Times article with more.
More Time
Time is limited. Why would you waste it looking at other peoples lives? “But we’re social animals.” Looking at photos of someone’s dinner isn’t being social. It’s being a dullard. I try to check Facebook less than once a day, though I’d like to increase the number of days between logins. Sometimes there is an event with information being posted progressively and with information that may change. A “check” does not involve scrolling. It involves looking at the bell. Clicking the bell if it’s got a red number. Doing what needs to be done and getting the hell out of there.
Since committing to this scheduled Facebooking I’ve read a lot more, written a lot more and have had more time to meditate. Correlation or causation? Either way, it’s certainly not harmful to have more time that would otherwise be spent harming your psychological well-being, even if you lack the motivation to do anything productive with it.
Browser
I still have access to Facebook by my browser. In fact, I took a break from writing this post earlier and did sign in via my browser… regretfully… but also intentionally, to observe how I felt throughout the experience.
Immediately after having scrolled through a few posts, reading some friends’ comments on various memes, articles or events, I regretted it. It’s akin to an alcoholic going back “just to see”. I felt anxiety rise out of a neutralness that existed before I began scrolling. I can put my finger on exactly the cause too: FOMO.
FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out)
It seems FOMO has become somewhat of a thing to be celebrated, a way to get customers in the door: “Don’t get FOMO! Come and try our limited time avocado, kale and turmeric milkshake!” FOMO is not something to celebrate. It’s an abuse of our social nature. You should always be cautious of “limited time” offers because they are selling you manufactured exclusivity, not the product. Cautious. Not completely avoidant of. Sometimes there are legitimately things that will only be available for a limited time, that was not specially devised by a manipulation department, oh whoops, I meant marketing department.
One way in which Facebook abuses your FOMO is with the Events feature and the “interested” and “going” buttons. Let’s say you want to go to a Stevie Wonder concert. You see the Facebook event, it’s on the 22nd of July. Also on the 22nd of July is a trivia night at your university. 2 friends have said they’re going to the trivia, another 3 have said they’re interested. None of your friends have good taste in music and thus, none have even clicked interested on the Stevie Wonder concert. What do you do? Most would go to the Stevie Wonder concert. That is, Facebook hasn’t necessarily changed what people do —though it probably has. What they definitely have done is caused you, the concert goer, to think about what you’re missing out on while at the concert. You lose half the concert experience thinking about how much of a good time your friends are probably having. Maybe a rogue Stevie Wonder fan went to trivia and despite correctly answering “16” to “How old was Stevie Wonder when he wrote “Until You Come Back To Me?”, they feel a little off, Wondering what they are missing.
Facebook is not the cause of FOMO. Facebook exacerbates the problem.
“You’re just easily emotionally swayed if you feel anxious after scrolling Facebook for 5 minutes.” Maybe I am. Though, maybe you’re not self-aware enough to realise that you are always anxious and thus incapable of ever experiencing a delta from that state.
Further
My train rides home from work (and uni) are phone-free. No podcasts, no music, no checking messenger. Only sitting, thinking and looking out the window, or at the occasional funny looking passenger. Phone calls and text messages are given a pass since most of the time they are relatively urgent. If I read it and it’s not urgent I don’t reply until I’m home.
When I sign in to Facebook on my laptop I make sure to sign out every time and do not click remember me. This is to maximise the friction when signing in. By stretching the time and increasing the number of triggers (physically typing the password and physically clicking login) which I can choose not to pull, it decreases the chances that I will login out of habit. The moment of weak will has to last longer if I am to end up signed in.
